no you cant smoke seaweed
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
