I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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