Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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