is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
