hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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