Me too!
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
