question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Randomize
