Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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