i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Actions speak louder than pants.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
