i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize