Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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