The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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