marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
