this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
