KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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