I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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