I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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