I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
