So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
