tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
