you traded sex for a burrito?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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