His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
