come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
