There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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