just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
