I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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