Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
