my room smells like sperm. sweet.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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