absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
