She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
