Sponge bath it is.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
