the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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