I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
