did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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