Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
only you would photoshop your dick
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
