That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
And my parents said I crawled through the house
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
