BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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