Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
