no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
