Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
