You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
