butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
dude. I can hear the air.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
