PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
i black out too much to be "responsible"
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
