im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
