Your face is a jimmy john
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
