Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
