the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
