I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
