Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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