I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
