After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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