Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
