After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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