look no pants
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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