so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
